After El Salvador

After El Salvador (to pair with the previous post)

After El Salvador, I had the worst summer of my life.
... my boyfriend broke up with me.
... my Casa family was falling apart
... we were all a mess
... I cried a lot
... I was really angry
... I had a lot of questions
... part of me tried to forget and move on
... I felt alone, but in a different way than before
... I wanted to go back
... I had one of the most profound religious experiences of my life
... I changed my plans
... I stayed in school another year
... I studied theology and women's studies, and I loved it
... I dropped the Spanish major. I already knew I could speak and live it, so what did I need a title for?
... I found new communities and clung to them for dear life
... I found other friends who had been broken by Latin America
... I held a garage sale and tried to sell almost everything I owned
... I offended those who had gifted me beautiful presents by selling them for $1 or $5
... I got rid of my closet full of shoes
... I made a decision to only read non-fiction books to learn more about the world
... I felt guilty for abandoning my friends and family
... I didn't write like I said I would
... I thought about El Salvador every day in some small way
... I had a newly kindled fire inside of me
... I had a lot of questions.. I still have a lot of questions
... I started exploring the divine feminine, and found a lot of power in her, in me
... I was so acutely aware of language, especially the masculine language that dominated the Church
... I realized there was no such thing as a just war, but that maybe an armed revolution was sometimes the only choice left
... There were no black and white, easy answers
... I knew I could never love America, the country of my birth, again
... I was challenged to live out the radical hospitality and love I received, and I often fail
... I questioned everything people in power told me, especially politicians
... I still get angry
... I still cry when I think about my beloveds in El Salvador
... I still have a fire in my belly

Social Constructions of Roles and Values

I was tempted at first to title this post "Peruvian Reality" but I don't really like the term reality I've decided, at least if it's used in any other context more general than an individual's perspective on the world, because we all form our own reality and world view. So, this is more of a reflection on Peruvian society, labels, and structures mostly from a sociologist who shared his thoughts with me (and a group of people in my course on accompanying youth) this past week in Lima. For the past two weeks I have been attending classes/ workshops on working with youth and youth groups and one of the most important recurring themes was that you have to know yourself, and you have to know each person you are working with or accompanying. So this is a bit of the world I am seeking to imerse myself into and better understand. Although, I think this is true of U.S. society as well.

How would you define youth? (jovenes / juventud)
How would you define adult? (adulto / adultez)

These are important questions in understanding the roles individuals fill in our society and what the system of values and power looks like. The idea behind being an adult is "lo acabado" that you have reached or achieved some desired end. To be "adult" is the ideal. All of life before one becomes an "adult" is spent in preparation to reach this stage. Adult is seen as the future; enforcing the ideal that once I become an adult, then I will be happy, then I will be successful, then I will be important and powerful. There is a hierarchy of societal roles with adult at the top, youth and elderly in the middle, and Infants or children at the bottom. (Although it seems more and more at least in U.S. culture and society the elderly and infirm are placed on the bottom with children).

The term adult implies that one is fulfilling the roles that society values and says one must fulfill to be a full/complete citizen (ciudano en plenitud). The role of the adult includes participation, work, being a mother or father, and having a profession that gives one a special knowledge, a more authoritative voice and opinion. Many of the societal problems that exist such as alcoholism, violence, and theft stem from not being able to fill these societal roles that adults are taught to fill and thus the individual loses their sense of self-worth in the loss of their worth to society.

The role of the youth is to prepare oneself to become an adult. There is a constant focus on the future without giving a value to present and to who the person is in their youth. The idea of "being happy" is that happiness always lies in the future, not in the here and now. Once I get a job, then I will be happy. Once I get married and have a family, then I will be happy. Once I have my own profession and a steady income, then I will be happy.

The term "joven" here in Peru is now used to include anyone from 15 years old - 30 years old. I'm told that as little as 10 years ago it used to be only up to 25 years old. Why such a long time span? Because society doesn't know what to do with the youth. Youth are told to study so they can get a good job, but the years they spend on their education are just a way to prolong the inevitable unemployment. Most who study a certain profession will not be able to find work in their profession here in Peru, and opportunities to immigrate are few. So in order to help delay the unemployment and crisis of employment, society says you need to spend more years preparing before you can fulfill this role of adult, while knowing at the same time that much of that preparation will be in vain and end in frustration, desperation, and depression. Society is educating and preparing youth for a false future of adulthood that they will never realize or be truely happy with because of the other "realities" of unemployment, discrimination, and violence. When many youth realize this myth or fall into that depression they result to joining gangs, assaulting others, or drowning away their disillusionment in drugs and alcohol.

So what to do? Change the system of power and values that says the ideal is "adult" and only adults are full participants in society. Recognize the value of the present instead of constantly waiting for a future that will not be realized in the way it is presented. Involve youth in systems of politics, faith communities, and within their own families. Embrace who they are at each stage of their life and be open to all that we have to learn from one another, whether old or young, rich or power, single or married, educated or illiterate. Youth have energy, creativity, passion, and ideas for change. There is a gift in that they haven't been fully integrated into the larger system yet. They still have a certain freedom and embrace that freedom and struggle against the process of encarceration by the power structures of society. I think we would all have a lot to gain by embracing our own youth, our own power, freedom, passion, creativity, and questions.

I recognize that I have referred to youth as "they" in this reflection and I would still consider myself a youth in many ways. In Peru I am still a joven, but am given more value and power than most jovenes here because I come from the U.S. and work with a religious community. I can see and relate to both worlds of youth and adult based on life experience and roles, but would like to believe that I am in fact still young, and hope to remain with my own passion, freedom, creativity, and questions for as long as I am breathing.

Paz y amor