Like sands through the hourglass...

Time, I feel, is not so much marked by the measurement of a hand slowly rotating around a clock, but rather by events and one’s physical surroundings. My life up until the past year always flowed to a certain rhythm marked by the seasons, holidays, and school year. This provided a more or less foreseeable pattern of how life would unfold and be lived.

I grew up in the Midwest, which means that for me the year was always divided into the four seasons and the corresponding holidays and events celebrated in a given season. Winter always included freezing temperatures, snow, big coats, hats, gloves, scarves, hot cocoa with marshmallows, familiar Christmas tunes, nativity scenes, Christmas lights, a break from school, and family time. Christmas was the cornerstone of the winter season with Christmas mass, visiting family, waking up earlier than any other day of the year to anxiously see what presents were waiting under the tree, decorating and eating Christmas cookies, and watching classic movies like It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story. I loved the winter scene of fresh fallen snow covering everything in a sparkling blanket of white, so clean and pure, the thrill of sledding down a hill or participating in a snowball fight, and waking up early after a big snow fall hoping and praying school would be canceled so I would have a free day with my friends to enjoy all that the winter season had to offer. Despite the freezing temperatures and slippery roads, I loved winter.

Then came spring with anxiously awaited warmer weather, plants and flowers growing and blooming in all their glory, and the school year winding down. Spring was a time of enjoying the outdoors again after a cold winter inside. It was a season of new life after winter’s hibernation. Spring brought with it rain showers, thunderstorms, and celebrations of Easter and my birthday. Being born at the end of March the question was always, will the weather be more like a lion or a lamb? in trying to plan activities. The Easter season celebrations were marked with colorfully dyed eggs, baskets full of sweets including my favorite: peeps, pretty new dresses, Easter mass, and a big meal with family to celebrate. Spring brought excitement, beauty, and a fresh breath of new life to the world around me.

As spring turned to summer the most anticipated change each year was the end of the school year. Summer meant 3 free months without classes or a thousand extracurricular activities. Midwest summers are known for their humidity and in my younger days that meant many days spent at the pool or cooling off in a sprinkler in the yard. Summer was hot and sticky and full of spending time with friends or going to day-camps. In college summer was still marked as a time free from school, but now with the new responsibility of work. No longer lazy days to just have fun with friends, summer meant days full of work trying to save money to help continue pay for my college education. Summer was marked by outdoor concerts in the park, parades, and fireworks celebrating our Independence Day. Summer was flip-flops and tank-tops, sipping lemonade in the shade, and outdoor grilling with friends and family. Especially in my childhood, there was a lot of fun and freedom in summer, a break from the regular routine.

But summer always had to come to an end and the school year started anew as the weather began to cool off and the leaves began to change. I absolutely love the autumn mostly for the way the leaves light up the trees in bright yellows, oranges, and reds and then slowly fall creating the perfect cushion to build up and jump into, or that gentle crunch as you walk down a sidewalk filled with freshly fallen leaves. Autumn was a time to slow down a bit, to prepare for the winter season approaching, and to celebrate our gratitude. Thanksgiving has to be one of the best holidays ever in that it is a giant meal with the ones you love giving thanks for all of one’s blessings. Gathering together and sharing a meal has always been one of my favorite and most sacred events, and in the Thanksgiving holiday this is exactly what is celebrated. And of course the excitement of Halloween each fall in trying to prepare a costume and pick out the best houses and neighborhoods to visit for candy. Or in the later years going to Halloween parties where we still appreciated the excuse to dress in costume and celebrate, or scare ourselves at a haunted house, or watch scary movies. Pumpkins, turkeys, leaves, costumes, candy, family, and football all spoke the season of autumn into being.

However, all of these familiar sights, sounds, smells, activities, and schedules were dramatically altered when I chose to come to Peru as an Incarnate Word Missionary. Out of school for the first time in 16 years I was jumping into a whole new unknown rhythm of life far away from classes, meetings, social events, and friends. Not only did I leave behind the life and schedule of a student, but I also left behind every familiar season and marking of time. Traveling to the southern hemisphere to a completely foreign country and culture feels a lot like falling into a rabbit hole or passing through the looking glass. Time has disguised itself as I pass through days and moments trying to make sense of this strange new world.

My beloved four seasons (which were an initial requirement in the college search years ago) have converted into two: summer and winter. But they are not the summer and winter I have known all my life. All that I once knew and lived seems backwards as Christmas and New Years are celebrated in a skirt and tank top, going to the beach, and preparations for a potential 4th of July grill out will take place in jeans and sweaters, eating inside. There are no extremes, no precipitation, no storms. The biggest natural threat is an earthquake. It is a difficult feeling to describe unless you have lived it, but all of the changes in how the year unfolds with its seasons, weather, holidays, and celebrations have made it quite difficult to feel completely whole, or comfortable, or connected to myself and all those I love back in the U.S. I remember reading once about the importance of rituals and traditions in remembering ones history and understanding who one is in connection to their family and community or culture. I appreciate that insight so much more living in a foreign country where none of the familiar traditions or surrounding environments are present.

On the one hand it might be for the best that there is a certain disconnect in making it easier to be far away from friends and family and all of the familiar events and seasons that they are living. But it’s so strange to talk to those back in the States and compare weather or think about what I would be doing if I lived there right now. In a lot of ways I feel like the past 10 months have been this crazy whirlwind dream where time stood still and I was opened up to a multitude of new people, experiences, food, music, holidays, and celebrations. Time did not pass as it used to, and thus I am left with a feeling that time didn’t really pass at all, although I know it has. I wonder to myself how long it really takes to feel integrated and comfortable in a foreign environment? Five years? Ten years? And where does the balance come in of always seeking to integrate who one was, is, and is becoming?

I love that I have been blessed to share in another way of life, to celebrate new holidays and old holidays in new ways, to constantly have to ask “what are they doing?” or “what is that?” and “why?” I know that every lived moment of this experience will be with me always, just as every moment we live is with us always, and wrapped up in each moment are the people, places, sights, smells, tastes, laughter, tears, and kisses. And I will bring Peru back to the U.S. with me, remembering and celebrating these new customs, traditions, holidays, and celebrations whether it is visible to others or not. The same as I’ve done here in holding with me all that I’ve been and done, whether it is visible or not. I know that eventually I will return to my beloved four seasons and traditional holiday celebrations, but I also have a feeling that they will never be quite the same after this seemingly time-less year of the backwards, strange, new, and overwhelming. So the hope is, despite feeling incomplete or unsettled, that all of this, all that is life and the lived experiences that accompany it, aid me in being fully human and integrate me deeper into the mystery of life.

This is quite long and that seems like a good place to end. Blessings to you all wherever you might be in the world and in the moment you are living and the memory you are making.

16th Anniversary of Nuevo Chimbote

Nuevo Chimbote is celebrating it's 16th anniversary right now which means lots of concerts, games, food, rides, and fun. On Monday night we thought there was going to be a big concert in the Plaza Mayor of Nuevo Chimbote so I headed out with a few friends only to find out it was the following night. There was however a boxing ring set up with different ages and weights competing. So we watched a few matches and then headed over to the fair grounds. I always love fairs. There's just something so fun about the bright lights, rides, people playing games that cost all their money for crappy prizes, and the food. Oh, gotta love fair food... While the fairs here do not have the giant turkey legs or deep fried twinkies and oreos they do have chocolate covered marshmallows with sprinkles (which I of course bought and loved! only 1 sol for a stick of 3-4), caramel apples, chocolate covered apples, churros, cotton candy, popcorn, lollipops, fried chicken and french fries, anticuchos (skewered cow hearts... I know sounds gross but it's actually pretty tasty if you don't think about what it is), and hamburgers.

They also have some unique games and rides. One popular fair game is a table that is marked into a grid with each box containing a different amount. You throw a sol (peruvian coin) onto the table and if it lands in a box without touching one of the sides you win the amount. This is near impossible of course because the boxes are small and the borders thick. Then there is this ride that is a giant circle/plate. There are benches that line the circumference on the inside but nothing to hold onto except the bars behind the benches that also line the circumference. The point of the ride is to not fall while the operator spins it around and jerks it back and forth trying to throw people off basically. Yeah.... can you imagine this ride in the U.S.? With liability there is no way. But it was by far the most popular ride and we enjoyed watching a few rounds of riders try and hold on for dear life. The rides were expensive (relatively for my budget) at 5 soles a piece so I didn't go on any rides, but enjoyed observing.

We went back again last night for the big concert and I had no idea until we arrived just how popular the main band was. It was packed! The headliner was a pretty popular rock band and I think all of the youth in Nuevo Chimbote and many from Chimbote were at the concert. It was kinda crazy but also fun to see and be reminded of concerts I went to when I was younger in high school. Kids are kids anywhere, no matter what country. The music was good but I got tired standing for two hours... I'm just not as young as I once was :) When the headliner band started we decided to move because all of the youth were pushing and shoving everywhere. So we went further back and listened to a few songs then headed back to the fair to walk around a bit before heading back home. It was a fun night in seeing how Peruvians celebrate with fairs and concerts and noticing the similarities and differences to being back in the States and going to a fair.

paz y amor

Snippets of Life

In an effort to break my absence from my blog below are a few snippets/stories/thoughts from life the past few weeks.

The Streets of Chimbote
Well, I'm happy (despite the inconvenience of construction) to say that Chimbote is starting to actually look like a real, developed city thanks to the recently paved and re-paved streets. Not less than a month or two ago there were no street signs anywhere and very few traffic lights. The rules of the road were more or less keep driving and just don't hit anyone. But in the last month many of the downtown streets have been re-paved and almost every intersection has new "smart" traffic lights with signs above labeling each street. It's still hard to believe. Whereas before I just marked everything by landmarks (which sometimes made telling taxis where to go a bit difficult), now I am actually learning street names and improving my navigation and direction giving skills thanks to the street signs. It is also slightly safer to cross the streets downtown thanks to the street lights with pedestrian crossing that tells you how many seconds you have left. Close to the neighborhood I live in (about 2 blocks over) all of the streets that were once just dirt (like ours unfortunately still is) are now a beautiful black pavement. This has greatly eliminated the amount of dust and dirt in these areas and made me look on jealously wondering when our neighborhood will also get the streets paved.... our neighbors have been waiting years. What I find most amusing though is that the newly paved streets in the neighborhoods are painted. There are lines marking each lane, arrows at every intersection, and crosswalks at every intersection (which is every block). I find this so amusing because no one follows these lines, they are just kind of there to look pretty. People still cross wherever and all drivers use either lane or just right down the middle of the road.

I also think it's important to include a Peruvian perspective or commentary on all this new development. My boyfriend was explaining to me how all of these public works are connected to a chain of power and money. The government official who approves the project is at the top taking the biggest cut-back. Next is the private contractor, almost always a good friend of the government official, who oversees the project and takes a portion for him/herself. Then the private contractor assembles a team to be in charge of the construction, also receiving a portion of the pot. And finally at the bottom are all of the neighborhood residents who do all of the actual labor and construction. They of course are paid the least, and with few jobs available they take whatever they can get. So, politics are politics anywhere, with the person up top doing little work and getting the most money, and all the people at the bottom doing the majority of the labor and getting the least money.

"Si no tiene plata, se muere"
These words were spoken by Eufemia, one of the women in my literacy class last week. "If you don't have money, you die." One of my students, Carmen, hadn't been to class for the last 2 weeks and came last week to explain why. Her son-in-law had an accident and broke his leg so badly that she said the bone was protruding. She's been in and out of the hospital and trying to take care of her daughter who is about 8 months pregnant. She was obviously a wreck and mostly came to class to see if anyone could help with finances or had other ideas. The insurance they have only covers certain expenses, and the surgery her son-in-law needs is not covered by insurance and I think she said it was going to cost something like 10,000 soles. This is a family that just barely gets by each day, so 10,000 soles might as well be a million soles because there was no way to pay for this surgery. I felt helpless to do anything but listen and let her know we were here to support her spiritually and emotionally during this time. I don't know anything about health insurance or health care here, but it seemed like from talking with the other women the most common insurance, which is what Carmen has, doesn't really cover much. So, if you have an accident and can't pay, you die. And many other factors in the lives of the poor such as poor nutrition, accepting risky work or working long hours, lack of supervision, lack of vacinations, and poor education contribute to poor health and vulnerability to life-threatening accidents or diseases. So when something does happen or one gets sick, what should be curable instead becomes fatal.

Husbands sellling their wives in prostitution
The main population of women that the Good Shepherd Sisters work with is prostitutes, and Hermana Karina was sharing with me the other day about one of these women. Education is an important first step in eliminating any given injustice, and so I share this story in the hopes of educating to eliminate sex trafficking and slavery. One woman's husband will give her 5 condoms which he marks in a certain way to know that they are his. He then sends her out to sleep with other men, using the condoms he provided. She has to bring back all 5 of the condoms, both used and unused in order to be accountable to him. This woman also faces regular beatings from her husband if she fails to please him in some way or doesn't abide by this system. She is trapped, and for any number of reasons unable to get herself out of this situation and relationship. Karina was commenting on the need to have a shelter for women like this in Chimbote that could be a safe place they can go to recover and get back on their feet, but currently nothing exists.


Well, that's all for now. The weather is starting to turn cold here and it's strange to be pulling out my warm clothes as I think of everyone back in the States just getting into summer, sun, vacations, flip-flops, and tank-tops. Congratulations to all the graduates of 2010 and blessings on your present and future.

paz y amor