In reading Henri Nouwen’s book ¡Gracias! I was struck by the first two sentences of his January 20th, 1982 entry: “Can we truly live with the poor? Although I live with them and share their life to some extent, I am far from poor.” The following is my own journal reflection that came from his.
El 18 de septiembre de 2009
Can I truly live with the poor without being poor? I am far from being poor and never will be able to personally experience the same reality. I do a great disservice to myself and to those I work and interact with if I try to pretend otherwise. I will always have those who can care for me, and resources that are unavailable to others. What I can do is acknowledge the privileges and wealth that I have, that are part of my reality. I can be honest. And I can not let these privileges stop me from loving. I can not let my privileges be excuses for creating distance instead of contact. I will never truly know the daily reality and burden of what it means to be poor. But I can still love. I can enter into relationship with openness and honesty and allow myself to be converted, to be challenged by those whose reality I will never fully understand but whom I can accompany none the less.
Living simply does not make me poor. To choose to live simply is not to pretend to be poor. It is a choice made to free oneself to better be in relationship. Maybe for one person she can better be in relationship with hot water, air conditioning, or electricity. But she should also be aware she has something profound to learn about love from those who have relationships and love without these amenities. Mother Theresa said “the less we have, the more we can give,” and I find this truth in my choice to live among those who have “little” as far tangible goods and services. It also reminds me of Sister Peggy (she taught my Liberation Theology course in El Salvador) who said that when the poor give it is a very different kind of gift because it is from their substance, not their excess. When I offer something, it is always what is extra, but the poor often offer all they have, at their own personal cost and sacrifice. This is the kind of love that Jesus calls us to, in really loving our brothers and sisters as our self.
Living with the poor, surrounded by poverty, does not make me poor. And that’s fine. Poverty is not the goal or mission of life; love is. I am free to love in new and profound ways when I enter into the reality of poverty. I am trying to tear down barriers, one brick at a time, to catch glimpses of my brothers and sisters on the other side. Each act I take to simplify my life can be another brick. Each time I choose the other instead of myself can be a brick. Each time I move out of my comfort zone into the unknown can be a brick. Each time I stretch myself to love, to listen, to really see someone can be another brick. And maybe together, removing one brick at a time, we will one day stand face to face without any barriers and smile at our true self reflected in the other, naked as the day we were born and full of the same joy and curiosity in exploring this new world together. Maybe this is what the kin-dom of God is like.
This blog began with my experience in Peru as an Incarnate Word Missionary and will continue to chronicle the footsteps on the path I make by living each moment through thoughts, questions, reflections, and stories. The title comes from the Antonio Machado poem "Caminante no hay camino" which tells how there is no road, the road is made by walking (se hace camino al andar). Blessings on the journey! Bendiciones en el camino!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
La Vida Es Un Carnival/2 Cultural Experiences
I have a feeling that there many be many “Carnival” posts throughout these two years as there seem to be fiestas every week. I wanted to share three fiesta/ cultural experiences with you.
The first was the 18th birthday party of Jorge, a former English student of the missionaries, which we attended a week ago Friday. While 15 is the big birthday party for girls (quinciñera), 18 is the big birthday party for boys. To start the night, we didn’t even leave the house until 11:30pm and when we arrived they were just starting introductions. The ceremony is a lot like a wedding reception. There is a front table where Jorge and his date sat (Julie, one of the other IWM’s was his date, but just as a friend. She has a Chimbotean boyfriend, who also came to the party, but everyone seemed pretty good-natured about it). Also at the table were Jorge’s parents and godparents. After all the welcomes and introductions there were a series of special dances: Jorge and his mom, godmother, the parents, the godparents, Jorge and Julie, Jorge and every female member of his family, and after about 30-45 min. of these special dances everyone could join in. They served tamales, beef, rice, and maybe something else I can’t remember. For drinks it was pisco sour and then later beer all night long. Since I am not drinking here, for a while I was quite thirsty as there were no non-alcoholic options, but around 2am someone brought out some Inca Cola (a unique soda here that has a yellow color and bubble gum taste) so I enjoyed that. I have definitely noticed that Chimboteans love to drink and no party seems to be complete without it. This also leads to a lot of societal problems with alcoholism, abuse, and vandalism/robbery. The party carried on until 6am but I left around 3:30am. It was a fun, cultural experience and a great night (or morning) of dancing and visiting with friends.
The Saturday after the birthday party, as we were finishing up a late lunch we heard music from a procession going by. This isn’t an abnormal occurrence in Chimbote, but Alex and Juan Carlos (the boyfriends of two of the other IWMs) said something about a bull and ran outside so we followed suit. Coming down the street was a procession of people with a bull at the front held in check by a few men holding ropes tied to the bull, and accompanied by a band marching along with music. There were also a couple of men dressed up in more traditional clothing who had a doll with red paint on its face that they would use to kiss men who weren’t paying attention and get red paint on their face. Juan Carlos got kissed by the doll and we all got a good laugh out of that. In a spontaneous decision we joined along with the procession and were quickly invited up to the front to dance along behind the bull to the music as we went. It was a completely foreign but strangely beautiful moment to be dancing down the street arm in arm with complete strangers, celebrating a feast day I had never heard of (Lord of the Spirits), preparing for a ritual that I could not understand with my background, but feeling with energy and excitement of the people. When we finally arrived at this open court area there was already a crowd gathered of all ages. As the music picked up the opened a few bottles of beer and sprayed them all over the dancing group as well as threw candy and treats for people to grab. A few people even took their children to get pictures with the bull who was pretty tired and angry at this point. Then came the part that PETA would have a field day about: they killed the bull, drank its blood, and cut it up to cook and feed everyone celebrating. This was definitely a new cultural experience for me and I tried to really observe without judgment and see how this was part of the customs and worldview of the people here. But I also didn’t stay long after they started cutting up the bull. Poco a poco. Oh, and to top off the celebration Alex bought us all ice cream from a street vender who was there. So I enjoyed a delicious ice cream cone on a beautiful day with friends, while staring at a dead and bleeding bull and laughing a little to myself that this is my life.
This current weekend has been the feast day of the patron saint of Mollepata, San Jeronimo. Mollepata is little town outside Chimbote and also the name of the Social/Cultural center directly across the street from us. So, while the center is usually host to the fiesta’s of others, this weekend has been huge because it is their very own patron saint celebration. I am actually pretty impressed with the endurance of Chimboteans who have now been partying for over the last 48 hours straight. The first sign that it would be long weekend of celebration was the 5:30am fireworks lit off directly in front of our house Friday morning. Starting Friday evening it has been non-stop music and celebrations. The coolest thing by far thought was the vaca loca and the Castillo. For any/all of you who are pyromaniacs, this would be your dream come true. On Friday night I noticed a large structure tower up from the center of the Mollepata and asked one of my Chimbotean friends what it was. He said it was a Castillo, and they would light it on fire and it had different things it would do. It sounded cool and strange enough to warrant actually going over to the Mollepata for the first time. So around midnight I headed over with Jane (another IWM) and Juan Carlos to watch the display. Well, it took until 1am to light the Castillo, but just after midnight they lit the vaca loca (crazy cow). The vaca loca constructed in the shape of a cow and someone puts it on over their shoulders and when it is lit it sprays out fireworks and sparks all over the place. It would be completely illegal anywhere in the U.S. The vaca loca then runs around all over the place, basically spraying people with fireworks unless you run away. Don’t worry, Mom and Dad, I’m alive to be writing this blog post. A quick side note: all ages participate in celebrations here. At every fiesta I have seen babies less than a year old up with their parents until the dawn as well as old grandpas and grandmas probably in their 90s. So, the vaca loca lasted about 10 minutes I would say and everyone had a ball running away (or some towards) the crazy cow that shot out fireworks. After this, I realized that the Castillo was rigged with fireworks as well and super excited to see it lit off. Around 1am the initial spark was lit and it was truly an incredible work of engineering I think. There were multiple levels and the initial spark would travel up each level as the next one was lit off. My words will not be able to begin to describe how amazing this was and unfortunately I don’t have any pictures, so hopefully you have good imaginations. On each level there were different shapes that would spin and turn as they lit off fireworks and colored sparks. There was a banner rigged to fall down with the patron saint, a lit up sign at the top of the Castillo, and a finale of big fireworks and a waterfall of sparks down the whole front. The best ground show of fireworks I’ve ever seen. And we were probably within 30 ft. of the structure. They had another one last night, Saturday, but I had to get up really early this morning to set up for our kick off event for the celebration of St. Francis and the Franciscan order (800 years) so I didn’t stay up to watch that one.
On final cultural experience that happened on my way home today (9/20) about 5:00pm: a drunk man tried to steal my camera which was in my pocket, but I didn’t let him have it. He came up behind Marcelle and I as we were walking and I felt him try to reach in my pocket and grab it but I grabbed it at the same time and yanked it back from his hands as I shouted No! He just kind of looked at us and as we started to quickly walk away he stumbled back the other direction. We’ve been told (and I believe it) that Sunday afternoon and evening are the most dangerous times because the men have been drinking all weekend. But thankfully everything is ok, and I still have my camera.
Peace and Love
The first was the 18th birthday party of Jorge, a former English student of the missionaries, which we attended a week ago Friday. While 15 is the big birthday party for girls (quinciñera), 18 is the big birthday party for boys. To start the night, we didn’t even leave the house until 11:30pm and when we arrived they were just starting introductions. The ceremony is a lot like a wedding reception. There is a front table where Jorge and his date sat (Julie, one of the other IWM’s was his date, but just as a friend. She has a Chimbotean boyfriend, who also came to the party, but everyone seemed pretty good-natured about it). Also at the table were Jorge’s parents and godparents. After all the welcomes and introductions there were a series of special dances: Jorge and his mom, godmother, the parents, the godparents, Jorge and Julie, Jorge and every female member of his family, and after about 30-45 min. of these special dances everyone could join in. They served tamales, beef, rice, and maybe something else I can’t remember. For drinks it was pisco sour and then later beer all night long. Since I am not drinking here, for a while I was quite thirsty as there were no non-alcoholic options, but around 2am someone brought out some Inca Cola (a unique soda here that has a yellow color and bubble gum taste) so I enjoyed that. I have definitely noticed that Chimboteans love to drink and no party seems to be complete without it. This also leads to a lot of societal problems with alcoholism, abuse, and vandalism/robbery. The party carried on until 6am but I left around 3:30am. It was a fun, cultural experience and a great night (or morning) of dancing and visiting with friends.
The Saturday after the birthday party, as we were finishing up a late lunch we heard music from a procession going by. This isn’t an abnormal occurrence in Chimbote, but Alex and Juan Carlos (the boyfriends of two of the other IWMs) said something about a bull and ran outside so we followed suit. Coming down the street was a procession of people with a bull at the front held in check by a few men holding ropes tied to the bull, and accompanied by a band marching along with music. There were also a couple of men dressed up in more traditional clothing who had a doll with red paint on its face that they would use to kiss men who weren’t paying attention and get red paint on their face. Juan Carlos got kissed by the doll and we all got a good laugh out of that. In a spontaneous decision we joined along with the procession and were quickly invited up to the front to dance along behind the bull to the music as we went. It was a completely foreign but strangely beautiful moment to be dancing down the street arm in arm with complete strangers, celebrating a feast day I had never heard of (Lord of the Spirits), preparing for a ritual that I could not understand with my background, but feeling with energy and excitement of the people. When we finally arrived at this open court area there was already a crowd gathered of all ages. As the music picked up the opened a few bottles of beer and sprayed them all over the dancing group as well as threw candy and treats for people to grab. A few people even took their children to get pictures with the bull who was pretty tired and angry at this point. Then came the part that PETA would have a field day about: they killed the bull, drank its blood, and cut it up to cook and feed everyone celebrating. This was definitely a new cultural experience for me and I tried to really observe without judgment and see how this was part of the customs and worldview of the people here. But I also didn’t stay long after they started cutting up the bull. Poco a poco. Oh, and to top off the celebration Alex bought us all ice cream from a street vender who was there. So I enjoyed a delicious ice cream cone on a beautiful day with friends, while staring at a dead and bleeding bull and laughing a little to myself that this is my life.
This current weekend has been the feast day of the patron saint of Mollepata, San Jeronimo. Mollepata is little town outside Chimbote and also the name of the Social/Cultural center directly across the street from us. So, while the center is usually host to the fiesta’s of others, this weekend has been huge because it is their very own patron saint celebration. I am actually pretty impressed with the endurance of Chimboteans who have now been partying for over the last 48 hours straight. The first sign that it would be long weekend of celebration was the 5:30am fireworks lit off directly in front of our house Friday morning. Starting Friday evening it has been non-stop music and celebrations. The coolest thing by far thought was the vaca loca and the Castillo. For any/all of you who are pyromaniacs, this would be your dream come true. On Friday night I noticed a large structure tower up from the center of the Mollepata and asked one of my Chimbotean friends what it was. He said it was a Castillo, and they would light it on fire and it had different things it would do. It sounded cool and strange enough to warrant actually going over to the Mollepata for the first time. So around midnight I headed over with Jane (another IWM) and Juan Carlos to watch the display. Well, it took until 1am to light the Castillo, but just after midnight they lit the vaca loca (crazy cow). The vaca loca constructed in the shape of a cow and someone puts it on over their shoulders and when it is lit it sprays out fireworks and sparks all over the place. It would be completely illegal anywhere in the U.S. The vaca loca then runs around all over the place, basically spraying people with fireworks unless you run away. Don’t worry, Mom and Dad, I’m alive to be writing this blog post. A quick side note: all ages participate in celebrations here. At every fiesta I have seen babies less than a year old up with their parents until the dawn as well as old grandpas and grandmas probably in their 90s. So, the vaca loca lasted about 10 minutes I would say and everyone had a ball running away (or some towards) the crazy cow that shot out fireworks. After this, I realized that the Castillo was rigged with fireworks as well and super excited to see it lit off. Around 1am the initial spark was lit and it was truly an incredible work of engineering I think. There were multiple levels and the initial spark would travel up each level as the next one was lit off. My words will not be able to begin to describe how amazing this was and unfortunately I don’t have any pictures, so hopefully you have good imaginations. On each level there were different shapes that would spin and turn as they lit off fireworks and colored sparks. There was a banner rigged to fall down with the patron saint, a lit up sign at the top of the Castillo, and a finale of big fireworks and a waterfall of sparks down the whole front. The best ground show of fireworks I’ve ever seen. And we were probably within 30 ft. of the structure. They had another one last night, Saturday, but I had to get up really early this morning to set up for our kick off event for the celebration of St. Francis and the Franciscan order (800 years) so I didn’t stay up to watch that one.
On final cultural experience that happened on my way home today (9/20) about 5:00pm: a drunk man tried to steal my camera which was in my pocket, but I didn’t let him have it. He came up behind Marcelle and I as we were walking and I felt him try to reach in my pocket and grab it but I grabbed it at the same time and yanked it back from his hands as I shouted No! He just kind of looked at us and as we started to quickly walk away he stumbled back the other direction. We’ve been told (and I believe it) that Sunday afternoon and evening are the most dangerous times because the men have been drinking all weekend. But thankfully everything is ok, and I still have my camera.
Peace and Love
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Work of Others
The past week and a half I have been visiting some of the other organizations and groups in Chimbote that work to meet the needs of different populations. Below is a list of these organizations and some of the work they do. It is really inspiring and challenging for me to meet others who are doing such good work in really serving and accompanying many of the people struggling in Chimbote. I have a lot to learn from all of them.
Casa de la Mujer: Unfortunately when I went to visit here they were busy working on a campaign to get women more involved in local and national politics so they weren’t able to talk. But as the name would suggest they do a lot of work with different women’s issues and really try to empower women to take a more active role in government and work on different campaigns like women’s health, HIV/AIDS, and ending violence against women. I am hoping to go back in the next week or so to sit down and talk with them more about the work they do.
Hogar de la Paz: This is a home and center for people who are mentally and physically disabled, ranging from about age 12 or so to probably 90s. The Missionaries of Charity run the home, but rely heavily on volunteers as there are only 4 sisters and just over 70 people who live with them. This was probably one of the most challenging places for me and really demonstrated what love in action looks like, because the sisters and volunteers have to meet all of the daily needs of the people who live here including cooking and feeding, bathing, help with going to the bathroom or changing diapers, and the daily chores around the house. On top of their work with the disabled, they offer a free lunch every day for anyone who wants to come and eat.
Centro de Amar: This center is run by the Good Shepherd Sisters and offers a place of refuge, counseling, and/or companionship for female prostitutes and sex workers. They are open and available as needed and the women are free to come in when they want. The sisters offer counseling, self-esteem workshops, classes and workshops for the children of the women, and whatever else might be of help to the women. Hermana Pilla spoke with us and shared how all of the women have experienced sexual abuse and usually rape during their childhoods and how they continue to be an abused and marginalized population. She also has a great philosophy that comes from being a Good Shepherd sister: If we only helped one woman, it would all be worth it (like the Shepherd who goes after the 1 sheep and leaves the 99). It’s not about how many, it’s about how much love is shared, even with just one person.
CECOPROS: Jane, one of the other IWMs I am living with, works with this organization on media and communication. They have a radio station, publish the diocesan newspaper, and film different informational programs for the TV. Jane is currently working with them on filming some of the small towns outside Chimbote to air on TV to show the realities of the people there. For more information and links to some of their programs, check out Jane’s blog and links. (I have a link to her blog on the side).
Comicion de Justicia Social: The Social Justice Commission is also part of the archdiocese of Chimbote and was the first human rights/ social justice organization connected to the Catholic Church in Peru. They have a lot of great programs including work with prisoners (which I am really hoping to be a part of) and at-risk youth, campaigns to end racism, campaigns to get people more involved in local politics and policy making in order to create better laws, support groups, and workshops on a number of different topics. I recently attended a workshop they had on human rights and discrimination with a specific focus on the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans) community. It had a pretty good turnout and offered a good overview of Human Rights (focusing on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) and then explaining and exploring questions of different sexual orientations and the discrimination and violence that exists against this population. Jane was telling me that this is the first workshop of its kind in Chimbote, which is a sign of hope in working toward the dignity and respect of all people. In such a strong machista culture anyone who varies from the socially defined roles of men and women is at risk for their own personal safety and well-being.
Padre Juanito: Padre Juanito is probably one of the best known priests in Chimbote and after visiting his church and seeing the many programs he offers I can see why. The Church complex is huge including Church, rooms for international volunteers to stay at, a gymnasium/work out room, rooms for preschool and kindergarten, rooms for youth to come and work on homework which include computers and a library with books lining all the walls, the Padre’s house, rooms for family counseling and workshops, and a number of other rooms currently under construction. They have programs for pretty much any population and age group one would be interested in working with. I met Amy, a volunteer from Ireland who has been here two years, who leads a women’s group on Friday afternoons that I am hoping to start attending. The Church is also an incredible sight that my words will not do justice to and unfortunately I did not bring a camera along on the trip. Let’s say the highlight would definitely be the altar, which is an aquarium with fish swimming around. Yep, the altar where communion is celebrated is home to many little fishies and a fishnet draped over the top. Fantastic!
Centro de la Juventud: I think this one of the extended programs of Padre Juanitos, because the guy who was showing us around took us here too, but it might be separate. This is a center for at risk youth, particularly those who have left gangs and are trying to get back on their feet. Each day they teach a different skill like sewing, cosmetology, cooking, carpentry, and one other one I can’t remember. They offer help preparing for the college entrance exam and just provide a safe space that youth can go to hang out away from their gang life.
Well, that’s all the places I’ve visited so far. My main work is with St. Francis parish, but I’m hoping to continue doing pastoral visits with Hospice a few days a week, and then maybe joining the women’s group on Friday afternoons, helping when I can with some of the other sites, and trying to get a program going in the prison. I appreciate all of your prayers and ask you to include all these wonderful organizations and peoples in your prayers as well. There is a lot of good work being done in the name of love and justice and I’m blessed to be a little part of it.
Peace and Love always
Casa de la Mujer: Unfortunately when I went to visit here they were busy working on a campaign to get women more involved in local and national politics so they weren’t able to talk. But as the name would suggest they do a lot of work with different women’s issues and really try to empower women to take a more active role in government and work on different campaigns like women’s health, HIV/AIDS, and ending violence against women. I am hoping to go back in the next week or so to sit down and talk with them more about the work they do.
Hogar de la Paz: This is a home and center for people who are mentally and physically disabled, ranging from about age 12 or so to probably 90s. The Missionaries of Charity run the home, but rely heavily on volunteers as there are only 4 sisters and just over 70 people who live with them. This was probably one of the most challenging places for me and really demonstrated what love in action looks like, because the sisters and volunteers have to meet all of the daily needs of the people who live here including cooking and feeding, bathing, help with going to the bathroom or changing diapers, and the daily chores around the house. On top of their work with the disabled, they offer a free lunch every day for anyone who wants to come and eat.
Centro de Amar: This center is run by the Good Shepherd Sisters and offers a place of refuge, counseling, and/or companionship for female prostitutes and sex workers. They are open and available as needed and the women are free to come in when they want. The sisters offer counseling, self-esteem workshops, classes and workshops for the children of the women, and whatever else might be of help to the women. Hermana Pilla spoke with us and shared how all of the women have experienced sexual abuse and usually rape during their childhoods and how they continue to be an abused and marginalized population. She also has a great philosophy that comes from being a Good Shepherd sister: If we only helped one woman, it would all be worth it (like the Shepherd who goes after the 1 sheep and leaves the 99). It’s not about how many, it’s about how much love is shared, even with just one person.
CECOPROS: Jane, one of the other IWMs I am living with, works with this organization on media and communication. They have a radio station, publish the diocesan newspaper, and film different informational programs for the TV. Jane is currently working with them on filming some of the small towns outside Chimbote to air on TV to show the realities of the people there. For more information and links to some of their programs, check out Jane’s blog and links. (I have a link to her blog on the side).
Comicion de Justicia Social: The Social Justice Commission is also part of the archdiocese of Chimbote and was the first human rights/ social justice organization connected to the Catholic Church in Peru. They have a lot of great programs including work with prisoners (which I am really hoping to be a part of) and at-risk youth, campaigns to end racism, campaigns to get people more involved in local politics and policy making in order to create better laws, support groups, and workshops on a number of different topics. I recently attended a workshop they had on human rights and discrimination with a specific focus on the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans) community. It had a pretty good turnout and offered a good overview of Human Rights (focusing on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) and then explaining and exploring questions of different sexual orientations and the discrimination and violence that exists against this population. Jane was telling me that this is the first workshop of its kind in Chimbote, which is a sign of hope in working toward the dignity and respect of all people. In such a strong machista culture anyone who varies from the socially defined roles of men and women is at risk for their own personal safety and well-being.
Padre Juanito: Padre Juanito is probably one of the best known priests in Chimbote and after visiting his church and seeing the many programs he offers I can see why. The Church complex is huge including Church, rooms for international volunteers to stay at, a gymnasium/work out room, rooms for preschool and kindergarten, rooms for youth to come and work on homework which include computers and a library with books lining all the walls, the Padre’s house, rooms for family counseling and workshops, and a number of other rooms currently under construction. They have programs for pretty much any population and age group one would be interested in working with. I met Amy, a volunteer from Ireland who has been here two years, who leads a women’s group on Friday afternoons that I am hoping to start attending. The Church is also an incredible sight that my words will not do justice to and unfortunately I did not bring a camera along on the trip. Let’s say the highlight would definitely be the altar, which is an aquarium with fish swimming around. Yep, the altar where communion is celebrated is home to many little fishies and a fishnet draped over the top. Fantastic!
Centro de la Juventud: I think this one of the extended programs of Padre Juanitos, because the guy who was showing us around took us here too, but it might be separate. This is a center for at risk youth, particularly those who have left gangs and are trying to get back on their feet. Each day they teach a different skill like sewing, cosmetology, cooking, carpentry, and one other one I can’t remember. They offer help preparing for the college entrance exam and just provide a safe space that youth can go to hang out away from their gang life.
Well, that’s all the places I’ve visited so far. My main work is with St. Francis parish, but I’m hoping to continue doing pastoral visits with Hospice a few days a week, and then maybe joining the women’s group on Friday afternoons, helping when I can with some of the other sites, and trying to get a program going in the prison. I appreciate all of your prayers and ask you to include all these wonderful organizations and peoples in your prayers as well. There is a lot of good work being done in the name of love and justice and I’m blessed to be a little part of it.
Peace and Love always
El Mercado
So I wrote this after my first visit to the market. I have now been three times and each time is a little better, a little less overwhelming. It's very stream of thought and an attempt to give a taste of the confusion and chaos which is the market place.
El Mercado
Market place
or zoo
full of animals
vivos y muertos
overload of senses
de colores
every shade
and some I’ve never seen
spices I’ve never tasted
whose odors tantalize and tingle
my nose
then suddenly a sharp turn
and smells of fish
pescado
mariscos
anchovetas
every shape
and size
and smell
vivos y muertos
fresh fish
probably caught today
fresh meat
recently slaughtered
before your eyes
if you happen to look
hanging on hooks
chickens
cow lungs, hearts, livers
heads
animal heads
that stare forever
until I look away
abuelos y abuelitas
small and wrinkled
outstretched hands
bonita amiga
buy our food
triente por un sole
sólo un sole
y los ninos juegan
in the dirt
at the feet of
las madres who trabajan
se venden
cositas de varias tipas
clothes we’ve got
beautiful new shoes
toilet paper
purses
movies still in the theater
boxes and of course
food
so many new names
to learn
so little money
to burn
como se llama
y cuanto cuesta
are the frases del día
at el Mercado
at least for the ginga
who wanders aimlessly
lost in the maze
of the never ending
sights and smells
amiga amiga
my friend, my friend
fresh fish
fresh fruit
fresh vegetables
fresh meat
and spices to add that
extra kick
to any plate you prepare
where to begin
maneuvering the rows and crowds
of this whole new world
open your eyes
not big enough
need 100 more pairs
to takes it all in
El Mercado
Market place
or zoo
full of animals
vivos y muertos
overload of senses
de colores
every shade
and some I’ve never seen
spices I’ve never tasted
whose odors tantalize and tingle
my nose
then suddenly a sharp turn
and smells of fish
pescado
mariscos
anchovetas
every shape
and size
and smell
vivos y muertos
fresh fish
probably caught today
fresh meat
recently slaughtered
before your eyes
if you happen to look
hanging on hooks
chickens
cow lungs, hearts, livers
heads
animal heads
that stare forever
until I look away
abuelos y abuelitas
small and wrinkled
outstretched hands
bonita amiga
buy our food
triente por un sole
sólo un sole
y los ninos juegan
in the dirt
at the feet of
las madres who trabajan
se venden
cositas de varias tipas
clothes we’ve got
beautiful new shoes
toilet paper
purses
movies still in the theater
boxes and of course
food
so many new names
to learn
so little money
to burn
como se llama
y cuanto cuesta
are the frases del día
at el Mercado
at least for the ginga
who wanders aimlessly
lost in the maze
of the never ending
sights and smells
amiga amiga
my friend, my friend
fresh fish
fresh fruit
fresh vegetables
fresh meat
and spices to add that
extra kick
to any plate you prepare
where to begin
maneuvering the rows and crowds
of this whole new world
open your eyes
not big enough
need 100 more pairs
to takes it all in
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Communion
Monday morning I was blessed to accompany Sister Sofia as she did pastoral visits to some of the hospice patients and brought them Communion. I love these visits and find it so important to visit those who are lonely, sick, and dying. So often what they desire more than anything is the presence of another, to know they are not alone. Before we left to do home visits we visited a few patients at the hospice center and as we were leaving one man’s room he cried after us, “Don’t abandon me!” Those powerful words froze me. There was such honesty, pain, fear, and humility in his plea. He spoke what so many of us often feel, the fear of being abandoned, of being alone. I was reminded of many of the psalms of lament by the Hebrew people who felt that God had abandoned them as well. Ps. 22: 1 “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?” But the psalms always end with a reassurance that God is good and powerful and with them, even as they struggle to see this. We are all participants in the divine life, and thus we are never alone or without God, although sometimes we may lose our way or not be aware of this divine presence.
To visit, to accompany, to bring communion and therefore community, is to make real the living body of Christ in the world. I think it is so fitting that the Sacrament of the Eucharist, of the body of Christ, is called Communion – because it is in community that God’s presence in the world is made visible and tangible. Jesus told us when two or three are gathered there he is too (Mt 18:20). It is in the community gathered together that the transubstantiation is made possible. Monday morning in each house I visited I received the sacrament of communion although I never actually received one of the hosts myself. I tasted the real, living presence of God in my life, in the community gathered together, in that present moment. Sister Sofia, myself, and the individual we were visiting made 3 – a Trinitarian community of strangers united by faith and the one Spirit that lives in us all – praying together, celebrating together, mourning the suffering of life together, and being sacrament for one another. I think the sacrament of Communion can be experienced daily in our relationships if we are mindful of the presence of God and the grace – the gift – that comes from the experience of 2 or 3 gathered in the name of Love, Beauty, Peace, Justice, Life, and/or Friendship.
The sick and elderly are a very marginalized and forgotten population, especially in the U.S. and many developed countries. As I was reading some of Henri Nouwen’s books this past week he commented on the reality that we don’t like to confront our own weakness, death, and immortality. We avoid it, and so we don’t know how to minister and be with those who are sick and dying. It is difficult to see another human being suffer, to see someone so weak and vulnerable. We put people in institutions where we don’t have to see them and really suffer with them the experience of growing old, being sick, and eventually dying. But we all will die, and wouldn’t we rather die in the presence of love than feeling alone and abandoned? The sick and dying have something important to teach those who are healthy about the precious value of life and health. In all moments, all circumstances, we have something to offer and something to receive. I offered my love, presence, and attention. In return I received a powerful insight into the living God, and appreciation for the many different stages of life that interact in the mystery of what it means to be. But if we avoid potentially painful experiences and relationships, we deny both ourselves and others the experience of growing in deeper understanding and appreciation of the life we are blessed to be aware of and present to in this moment, and which will soon be gone. So I guess I would just like to encourage you all to spend time with those you might know or not know who are sick, elderly, dying, or even just lonely. To bring them communion, either in the form of the consecrated host, or your own holy, consecrated self offered as community and living sacrament of the presence of God in the world. Let us be God’s love, God’s word, incarnate for one another, reminders that we are never alone. For how could the Spirit that is Life ever leave us, even as we pass from one form to another?
To visit, to accompany, to bring communion and therefore community, is to make real the living body of Christ in the world. I think it is so fitting that the Sacrament of the Eucharist, of the body of Christ, is called Communion – because it is in community that God’s presence in the world is made visible and tangible. Jesus told us when two or three are gathered there he is too (Mt 18:20). It is in the community gathered together that the transubstantiation is made possible. Monday morning in each house I visited I received the sacrament of communion although I never actually received one of the hosts myself. I tasted the real, living presence of God in my life, in the community gathered together, in that present moment. Sister Sofia, myself, and the individual we were visiting made 3 – a Trinitarian community of strangers united by faith and the one Spirit that lives in us all – praying together, celebrating together, mourning the suffering of life together, and being sacrament for one another. I think the sacrament of Communion can be experienced daily in our relationships if we are mindful of the presence of God and the grace – the gift – that comes from the experience of 2 or 3 gathered in the name of Love, Beauty, Peace, Justice, Life, and/or Friendship.
The sick and elderly are a very marginalized and forgotten population, especially in the U.S. and many developed countries. As I was reading some of Henri Nouwen’s books this past week he commented on the reality that we don’t like to confront our own weakness, death, and immortality. We avoid it, and so we don’t know how to minister and be with those who are sick and dying. It is difficult to see another human being suffer, to see someone so weak and vulnerable. We put people in institutions where we don’t have to see them and really suffer with them the experience of growing old, being sick, and eventually dying. But we all will die, and wouldn’t we rather die in the presence of love than feeling alone and abandoned? The sick and dying have something important to teach those who are healthy about the precious value of life and health. In all moments, all circumstances, we have something to offer and something to receive. I offered my love, presence, and attention. In return I received a powerful insight into the living God, and appreciation for the many different stages of life that interact in the mystery of what it means to be. But if we avoid potentially painful experiences and relationships, we deny both ourselves and others the experience of growing in deeper understanding and appreciation of the life we are blessed to be aware of and present to in this moment, and which will soon be gone. So I guess I would just like to encourage you all to spend time with those you might know or not know who are sick, elderly, dying, or even just lonely. To bring them communion, either in the form of the consecrated host, or your own holy, consecrated self offered as community and living sacrament of the presence of God in the world. Let us be God’s love, God’s word, incarnate for one another, reminders that we are never alone. For how could the Spirit that is Life ever leave us, even as we pass from one form to another?
Weekend Recap
Friday was a really great day. Marcelle and I finally got our dresser so we were able to unpack our suitcases and start to really settle in. Friday afternoon was spent unpacking and decorating our room. Now it really feels like our own place and I have so many beautiful faces of loved ones around the world that keep me company here in Chimbote! Todd baked brownies for English conversation which we have at our house every Friday night and they were delicious. We had a really large turnout for English conversation which was great and I was able to meet even more people, a few of whom speak pretty good English because they are studying it at the University. One of the English students helps with a music group of young boys and they surprised Todd by coming and performing some songs for us all. They were wonderful and I was pretty impressed with how good they were for being probably between 8-12 years old.
Saturday was filled with lots of cleaning and preparing for Todd’s despedida (going away party) at our house that night. The most disgusting was definitely the bathroom out back. Todd and Courtney were rock stars who cleaned up the grossest parts. I cleared away all the spider webs which were everywhere outside and inside. Our friends Roger and Anthony also came over to help with cleaning. I had my first Confirmation class Saturday night from 7-9pm. I think it went pretty well. There are over 30 youth in Confirmation so it will take me a while to learn everyone’s names, but they seem like a good group of kids. A lot like kids their age in the U.S. They love talking to one another, but are hard pressed to talk in a large group setting. They all have cell phones that are going off and forget to bring their notes or notebooks. But they are smart too, and have a lot of energy. I’m excited to become more a part of the planning probably for the next cycle of Confirmation. For the rest of this group’s time I will probably mostly be assisting here and there and getting a sense of the program. Although I do hope we do a retreat with the Confirmation students and I can help with that because I was part of the planning team in high school for the Confirmation retreat at my church.
After Confirmation I came back and everything was pretty much ready to go for the party. It went from about 10pm until close to 5am but I went to bed around 3:30am because I had to get up for the theater group reunion (meeting) the next morning at 10am. The party was a lot of fun and mostly consisted of visiting with people by shouting because the music was so loud and lots and lots of dancing. It is kind of humorous to me because for each song you wait for someone to ask you to dance or you ask someone (but there are always pairs, no dancing alone). Then after the song is done everyone goes and sits back down and repeats the same process. The music was mostly salsa, cumbia, meringue, a little regaeton, and whino (which is a Peruvian music and dance style). Being new and being a gringa I had no shortage of dance offers and so after a few hours was exhausted and glad to see the party starting to wind down to people just hanging out but with less dancing. It was really a beautiful celebration though and full of lots of moments of gratitude to be in this place, listening and dancing to music with the people gathered together in our backyard, speaking Spanish, laughing, and having a great time.
Sunday I was pretty tired from the party but enjoyed the theater group meeting because it was another despedida for Todd. They invited Marcelle and I to play a few short flute duets and others performed songs, dances, and theater skits. They were the first despedida to have a piñata which I think made it the best I’m excited to get involved and perform with the theater group. It is led by hermana Kati, a young Incarnate Word sister and has all ages participating. They prepared ceviche which is probably the most popular Chimbotean food – a raw fish dish marinated in onion and lime usually served with potatoes on the side and/or yucca. Its pretty good, but also usually pretty spicy. If anyone comes to visit, ceviche is definitely a must for food you will eat before leaving. The Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word invited us all over for lunch as a going away for Todd and a welcoming for Marcelle and me. It was great to visit with all of them at once (there are 6 here in Chimbote) and lunch was delicious. Then I had Confirmation again that night at 6:30pm, mass at 7:30pm, and JUMIFRA meeting after mass. JUMIFRA is the youth council of the parish and are currently busy planning the opening day’s events for the 2 week celebration of 800 years of the Franciscan order and 20 years in Chimbote. I would say right now we average about 3-4 meetings a week trying to coordinate and plan everything and are still behind schedule according to U.S. standards. But I’m told everything always comes together at the last minute so I guess we’ll wait and see.
I’m visiting a number of different places this week so maybe next week I’ll let you know about some of the other work being done in Chimbote.
Peace and Love
Saturday was filled with lots of cleaning and preparing for Todd’s despedida (going away party) at our house that night. The most disgusting was definitely the bathroom out back. Todd and Courtney were rock stars who cleaned up the grossest parts. I cleared away all the spider webs which were everywhere outside and inside. Our friends Roger and Anthony also came over to help with cleaning. I had my first Confirmation class Saturday night from 7-9pm. I think it went pretty well. There are over 30 youth in Confirmation so it will take me a while to learn everyone’s names, but they seem like a good group of kids. A lot like kids their age in the U.S. They love talking to one another, but are hard pressed to talk in a large group setting. They all have cell phones that are going off and forget to bring their notes or notebooks. But they are smart too, and have a lot of energy. I’m excited to become more a part of the planning probably for the next cycle of Confirmation. For the rest of this group’s time I will probably mostly be assisting here and there and getting a sense of the program. Although I do hope we do a retreat with the Confirmation students and I can help with that because I was part of the planning team in high school for the Confirmation retreat at my church.
After Confirmation I came back and everything was pretty much ready to go for the party. It went from about 10pm until close to 5am but I went to bed around 3:30am because I had to get up for the theater group reunion (meeting) the next morning at 10am. The party was a lot of fun and mostly consisted of visiting with people by shouting because the music was so loud and lots and lots of dancing. It is kind of humorous to me because for each song you wait for someone to ask you to dance or you ask someone (but there are always pairs, no dancing alone). Then after the song is done everyone goes and sits back down and repeats the same process. The music was mostly salsa, cumbia, meringue, a little regaeton, and whino (which is a Peruvian music and dance style). Being new and being a gringa I had no shortage of dance offers and so after a few hours was exhausted and glad to see the party starting to wind down to people just hanging out but with less dancing. It was really a beautiful celebration though and full of lots of moments of gratitude to be in this place, listening and dancing to music with the people gathered together in our backyard, speaking Spanish, laughing, and having a great time.
Sunday I was pretty tired from the party but enjoyed the theater group meeting because it was another despedida for Todd. They invited Marcelle and I to play a few short flute duets and others performed songs, dances, and theater skits. They were the first despedida to have a piñata which I think made it the best I’m excited to get involved and perform with the theater group. It is led by hermana Kati, a young Incarnate Word sister and has all ages participating. They prepared ceviche which is probably the most popular Chimbotean food – a raw fish dish marinated in onion and lime usually served with potatoes on the side and/or yucca. Its pretty good, but also usually pretty spicy. If anyone comes to visit, ceviche is definitely a must for food you will eat before leaving. The Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word invited us all over for lunch as a going away for Todd and a welcoming for Marcelle and me. It was great to visit with all of them at once (there are 6 here in Chimbote) and lunch was delicious. Then I had Confirmation again that night at 6:30pm, mass at 7:30pm, and JUMIFRA meeting after mass. JUMIFRA is the youth council of the parish and are currently busy planning the opening day’s events for the 2 week celebration of 800 years of the Franciscan order and 20 years in Chimbote. I would say right now we average about 3-4 meetings a week trying to coordinate and plan everything and are still behind schedule according to U.S. standards. But I’m told everything always comes together at the last minute so I guess we’ll wait and see.
I’m visiting a number of different places this week so maybe next week I’ll let you know about some of the other work being done in Chimbote.
Peace and Love
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Ode to my Sandals
So I wrote a little ode to my sandals the other day while journaling and felt like sharing it since my blog is called se hace camino al andar and these are the sandals that have been making the roads. I would also like to give a shout out to my mom who bought me these wonderful sandals before I left for El Salvador in 2007. enjoy :)
Oh Sandals,
you have seen many lands
and much dirt,
collected now
as a kind of testimony
to the roads
made by walking.
Walking lightly
with love –
I hope.
But I know
many steps
have been heavy
under the weight
of the cross
of the people
and my own burdens
of privilege and pain.
Oh Sandals,
you –
you have seen
many places.
You have climbed
volcanoes and mountains.
You have gone swimming
in rivers and caves.
You have trekked
the jungle forests
and university campuses.
Red clay,
rich soil,
gray dirt,
and small stones
all have become
part of your façade.
Once white,
now a khaki brown
to match the
dirt roads
you continue
to walk
in search of
love, community, and peace.
A thousands and one
smells
you emit from
a thousands and one
places,
blended together.
Oh Sandals –
You are
everything sandals,
everywhere sandals,
taking me
where the Spirit calls.
Tan lines
permanently mark
my feet,
giving witness
to our oneness.
Protector and guide,
where you go I go,
and make
new paths
with each
step.
Oh Sandals,
you have seen many lands
and much dirt,
collected now
as a kind of testimony
to the roads
made by walking.
Walking lightly
with love –
I hope.
But I know
many steps
have been heavy
under the weight
of the cross
of the people
and my own burdens
of privilege and pain.
Oh Sandals,
you –
you have seen
many places.
You have climbed
volcanoes and mountains.
You have gone swimming
in rivers and caves.
You have trekked
the jungle forests
and university campuses.
Red clay,
rich soil,
gray dirt,
and small stones
all have become
part of your façade.
Once white,
now a khaki brown
to match the
dirt roads
you continue
to walk
in search of
love, community, and peace.
A thousands and one
smells
you emit from
a thousands and one
places,
blended together.
Oh Sandals –
You are
everything sandals,
everywhere sandals,
taking me
where the Spirit calls.
Tan lines
permanently mark
my feet,
giving witness
to our oneness.
Protector and guide,
where you go I go,
and make
new paths
with each
step.
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