Gratitude

(I first wrote this 2 years ago and am re-copying it from my other blog where it was first published. I still heartily believe in everything I wrote and wanted to share it with those who might not have read it the first time, or forgot.)

The most profound gratitude I have experienced is from people who have the least. This Thanksgiving gratitude list is dedicated to my brothers and sisters who seem to have little to be thankful for yet continue to remind and teach me what true gratitude is.

I am grateful for community, the presence of others.

I am grateful for smiles in all shapes and sizes: smiles with missing teeth, smiles with rotting teeth, smiles with no teeth.

I am grateful for hands: hands that are wrinkled and calloused and worn from years of working, serving, and loving; the tiny hands of a baby that can only hold onto one of my fingers; hands that bring new life into this world, hands that cook, and feed, and nurture; hands that create beautiful works of art, music, and literature; hands that exchange greetings between friends.

I am grateful for eyes: eyes that sparkle and dance with life, eyes that shed tears - of joy and sorrow, eyes that speak a thousand words of unimagined horrors and hardships, eyes surrounded by wrinkles, eyes hidden behind a straw hat or veil, blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, my eyes - that witness it all.

I am grateful for friends: friends who let me be, friends who challenge me to be more, friends who listen, friends who don't understand and make me explain, friends who ask for nothing, friends who demand everything, friends who do not know me but inspire and encourage me, friends with whom I can be in silence when words are insufficient.

I am grateful for nature: for the sun that rises every morning - consistent and reliable, warming the earth and giving life; for the beautiful flowers, for trees that bear fruit and refresh our bodies, for the rain that helps life grow, for the breeze that cools on unbearably hot days, for all the colors of the rainbow reflected in the creation that surrounds us.

I am grateful for shared meals: dividing what one has and sharing with all who are present, trusting that what there is will be enough and giving thanks that it always is enough, nourishing not only our bodies but our hearts and souls as well in the company of friends who always have an extra place at the table, where all are invited and welcomed.

I am grateful for water: clean drinking water, water that falls from the sky, water that falls from eyes, water that flows through the earth, water that flows through my body, water that washes away the dirt and filth, water that I don't have to walk 5 miles to collect, water that refreshes on a hot day, holy water, ocean water, water free and available for all, water - the life giver and sustainer.

I am grateful for sharing out of one's substance, not out of one's excess.

I am grateful for moments of peace in a war torn world.

I am grateful for those who do not make excuses, who do not give up, who do not give in, and who consequently give their whole lives striving for peace and justice.

I am grateful for memories: sacred moments shared with loved ones, laughter, tears, joy, sorrow, images, sounds, feelings, that I will keep with me forever and that can never be taken away, all that I have received and hold onto.

I am grateful for forgiveness: the ability to change and grow, the courage to admit mistakes and the strength to heal, the power of reconciliation with one another and within ourselves, the simple yet profound beauty of saying I'm sorry and I forgive you.

I am grateful for the daily bits of Good News: beautiful weather, a child's laughter, conversation with an old friend, time to breathe and be at peace, a goal accomplished, a hug, a smile, sparkling white snow that covers the earth, new life, not going hungry, a warm bed, bare feet in the cool grass, dancing in the rain, music that touches the soul....

I am grateful for You and Us, the collective We that Are.

A sincere and heartfelt Thank You this Thanksgiving holiday season.

Updates

The days are full and time seems to pass so quickly with so much going on. It's getting harder and harder to actually sit down and write about what's going on when each day I am even more settled and comfortable; this is life. Really living each day and appreciating what that means and looks like often makes the words used in writing about life seem insignificant and lacking. But, in love and appreciation for all of you who take the time to check my blog and support me and want to know what's going on, I really am trying to share some of my life with you.

Big general statement: I am really happy and grateful for the many daily blessings and challenges that constantly make me mindful of the beauty and mystery of being alive. I pray for the same for you.

Confirmation 2009 wrapped up this past weekend with the jovenes receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation, and many Baptism and First Communion also, on Sunday. The ceremony was really beautiful and all of the youth looked so nice in their fancy clothes! We're trying to plan some more activities for them to stay involved in the parish and I'm excited to continue working with them. They had their retreat the weekend before, and I think it was an especially powerful experience for them on the theme of family. Family is huge down here and such an important support system, especially for youth. We had the kid's parents write them letters (which was a suprise) and then the families actually came on Sunday to suprise their sons and daughters and show their love and support. It was a real blessing to witness this special moment for them.


Our theater group is busy working on three different shows right now. One is on the good samaritain which we are performing for a telethon for Hospice. I am playing the flute for a reflection song and am also a nurse in this skit. We are also preparing a skit on the history of CCVI coming to Chimbote, and I get to be the principal sister who came to Chimbote and founded it as a missionary site for CCVI! I'm really excited about this one, especially since it's about the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word. We are celebrating 45 years in Chimbote on December 19th and will perform this skit at our celebration. The final skit we are working on is a Christmas show written and directed by two of the men in our theater group. It deals with making Jesus the center of the Christmas celebration. Should be pretty good.

I've also really been enjoying participating in the youth choir, playing flute and singing. It was really struggling when I first came to the parish, but I feel like we've been growing and have a new energy that is hopefully attracting more youth to participate and adds to the mass celebration. I love music, and especially music that praises the divine and moves the soul so it's great to be able to share that with others and encourage them to find the joy that comes from singing from the soul. It's also been a great way to learn and practice Spanish through singing!

With Advent begining and the Christmas season approaching, I have mixed feelings about celebrating my first Christmas ouside the U.S. It's hard to think about Christmas when it's in the 70s everyday and I'm wearing tank-tops and skirts. It will be weird to not have snow or have it be freezing, to not see Christmas decorations everywhere (at least that I know of so far), but I am really excited to share in the Peruvian celebration of Christmas. The focus is definitely more on Jesus and the Nativity story down here, which is a welcome change. I'm glad not to be around the over-hyped commercialism of the holiday and instead prepare to invite Jesus into the world and accompany Mary on her journey. Christmas is definitely a time for family and I will really miss my family and friends, but I also welcome the opprotunity to grow closer to my Peruvian family and friends here, to share this special season with them. I hope that all of you take time to appreciate the relationships and love in your life, and prepare to celebrate the gift of the divine made flesh in our world and our collective responsibility to birth the divine presence into the world today.

Bits and pieces for now. Peace and Love always.

Cultivating peace in prison

Sorry it's been a couple weeks. Time really seems to fly by here and I've been keeping a pretty busy schedule. I did want to let you all know though that I was finally able to start going to the prison out in Cambio Puente, about a 20 min. ride outside of Chimbote. I'm really excited about my ministry there and learning more about the prison system while accompanying the prisoners.

My first visit was two weeks ago when I accompanied Jane, one of the other IWMs whose been doing prison work through the Comision de Justicia Social (Social Justice Commission) for the past year, and Silivia who runs the prison ministry program through CJS. Silivia has been working for a long time on trying to get us permision to get back in because the administration has changed 3 different times in the past year and it's been difficult to work through all the paperwork and redtape. But, finally we at least got approval for the rest of the year (three months) and so have been able to start going on a regular basis. My initial thought was it is very open. Maybe because of the good weather, or this is just how the prisons are down here, but there are few roofs except for where the prisoner's rooms are and all the places I've seen have open courtyards to hang out as well. So far at least to me, the gaurds have been respectful and even the inmates who have a bit more freedom to wander around have been pretty friendly. This is not at all to say that life there is easy or has any kind of luxury. Just being present in the enviornment I could feel the tension and stress surrounding me. Talking with Silivia it seems that the women have a harder time than the men with being in prison and separated from their families.

So, given the very difficult reality and life of the prisoners, I am super excited to be leading meditation two days a week there! I started with just the women and was going to go on Tuesday afternoons, but then the psychologist at the prison said he would like to do meditation with the men to so I was happy to extend the practices to anyone interested. On Monday afternoons now I lead meditation and relaxation with the men, and on Tuesdays with the women. I love introducing new practices and techniques for cultivating inner peace and living in the present moment to anyone, but am especially excited about doing this in a prison environment where so many freedoms are eliminated and so much anxiety, stress, anger, and fear can exist. When I spent a week at Plum Village in France there was a sign outside my room that said "Be free where you are," and I really do beleive that when one is mindful and living in the present moment they can be free anywhere, even in the most unlikely of places like a prison. It has been an interesting challenge though to try and open prisoners up to the idea that they can be free within the confines of the prison, but like all my work here I am practicing patience and trusting that on God's time more will be open to the freedom and beauty found in the present moment. At the moment, if nothing else the individuals I work with can relax and let down their gaurd for an hour or so and be at peace, and if it helps just one person it is all worth it.

My work at the prison with the men has also been a good challenge in my call to love all my brothers as Christ. As I was walking out of my first meditation session with the men, which went very well and they seemed very receptive, Romano the psychologist told me that the majority of the men who I had just led meditation with were there on charges of sexual violation/assault. This new insight initially hit me right in the stomach and I was tempted to say well I don't want to work with these guys anymore. I feel a very strong sense of solidarity with all of my sisters and one of the realities that most angers me is sexual assault/violence/rape of women. I love working with women and feel a strong call to help bring about their liberation, but in that call I can't forget about the many men who also play a part in the prevention of our liberation and theirs. I am challenged to look deeply and remember a beautiful gatha that a dear friend and professor once taught me: "Just like me he doesn't want to suffer, just like me he wants to be loved." Yes, many of these men have done terrible things in their life and have destroyed other lives, but in this present moment, which is really all we have, we can smile at each other and see the presence of the one divine spirit that is in all of us and calls us back to community, to a better way of living. There aren't excuses for the past, but there is understanding to be found. And the beauty of the present moment is that is offers us everything completely fresh and new; there is infinite possibility. It truely is a miracle that inside a prison, surrounded by a group of men who I would be tempted to hate and condemn, I was able to realize peace and joy in the present moment, and hopefully some of them were able to realize this too. In this work, God is giving me hope in myself and in the greater power of the Spirit to awaken us all to a new and better way of life.