Inspiration

I was once again inspired and on fire from the beautiful collection of stories from Brazil compiled by Mev Puleo entitled The Struggle Is One. Gathering with many who have also been touched by this book, the spirit of Mev and those she interviewed was alive and flowing through the conversations and questions posed. To begin the conversation, we were invited to think about three things: pretext, context, and the text itself. My own pretext for joining in the gathering and discussion this evening was that I love this book, the people and stories it contains, and wanted a chance to share a bit of the impact it has had on my life since I read it almost 6 years ago. In short, this book helped change the course of my life. I read it at a time that I was already seriously questioning the religion and institution that I had been raised in, and in a context of being in a foreign country experiencing challenging questions and realities on a daily basis. I believe that God brought this book into my life to inspire me and give me hope. Through the reality I lived in El Salvador and the stories of liberation theology at work that I read in the book, I was introduced to a new face of the Church and God at work in the world. This was a Church and faith that made a preferential option for the poor, that lived solidarity with one's neighbors, that was awake to the reality that we belong to one another and the struggle is one. This was a Church and faith that spoke to me and challenged me to learn more, to be more. I returned to SLU to switch my major to theology to study more about liberation theology, feminist theology, and other theologies inspired by the people in a ground up not top down flow.

In reflecting on context, I conversed with some friends about imagination and creativity. Our context today is not the same as it was 20 years. While some struggles and systems remain the same, we cannot limit ourselves by what has been done in the past, but rather constantly reevaluate our current reality and context to come up with new, innovative, and pertinent solutions. Re-evaluation Counseling theory teaches that the mark of human intelligence is being able to come up with a completely new and fresh response to each new situation. So given all that, what do these stories have to teach us today? Is a book written about the reality of life in Brazil 20+ years ago still relevant today? Is this spirit and practice of liberation theology still pertinent and at work today? I think it is, now more than ever. I see the work being done by those who were inspired maybe 40 years ago and are still in the struggle. I see a generation of young people connected to the world in ways previously unimagined, and inspired to work for change through these connections. The reality has changed, but we still belong to one another. The faces of those in power, those who abuse their power, or do anything to maintain it, might have changed, but there is still truth to be spoken. And it quite frankly still needs to come from those on the bottom, those at the base, whose struggle is a daily struggle to survive, to find and create beauty and order, to maintain their hope and exercise their joy. We need to first listen to one another's stories, and then share them with others. That was a beautiful part of the gathering this evening and many such similar gathering on Sunday evenings: the sharing of stories to inspire one to discover and share their own story.

And we are constantly writing our own stories. We have the power of text. The words we choose to use, the conversations we seek out or don't shy away from, the questions we ask. Text can inspire, can move someone to action, can reawaken one's own imagination. What is the story that I am telling? What will others glean from my text? If I returned to Brazil and interviewed these same people, I am sure their stories have changed. It would be a completely different book. And that's beautiful. Our stories do change. From one chapter to the next, the text can take us in all different directions when new characters and situations are introduced. Whether something worked or didn't in the past isn't the question to ask. We need to look at our current context to determine what new ideas we might be able to dream up.

The stories in this book and many other stories I have been blessed to hear and share throughout the years, do give me hope in a people inspired by faith to live justice, to shake things up, and do things differently. Do I think liberation theologies have changed and will continue to change? Absolutely. Because inherent in the theory and practice is that it comes from one's lived reality, which is also going to continue changing. But do I think it is still relevant? Absolutely. We need to step out of our comfort zones, to come face to face with those whose reality may differ from mine. I believe people of faith are looking for inspiration and community, and not finding it within an institution of exclusion that claims exclusive access to God's truth and teachings. There is a phrase that I can't remember where it comes from, but to be “evangelized by the poor.” To be reminded that we still have work to do. Our faith and religion should challenge us to learn more, to be more. And we need to be open to that challenge and inspiration coming from the people on the street, rather than the pulpit.

After El Salvador

After El Salvador (to pair with the previous post)

After El Salvador, I had the worst summer of my life.
... my boyfriend broke up with me.
... my Casa family was falling apart
... we were all a mess
... I cried a lot
... I was really angry
... I had a lot of questions
... part of me tried to forget and move on
... I felt alone, but in a different way than before
... I wanted to go back
... I had one of the most profound religious experiences of my life
... I changed my plans
... I stayed in school another year
... I studied theology and women's studies, and I loved it
... I dropped the Spanish major. I already knew I could speak and live it, so what did I need a title for?
... I found new communities and clung to them for dear life
... I found other friends who had been broken by Latin America
... I held a garage sale and tried to sell almost everything I owned
... I offended those who had gifted me beautiful presents by selling them for $1 or $5
... I got rid of my closet full of shoes
... I made a decision to only read non-fiction books to learn more about the world
... I felt guilty for abandoning my friends and family
... I didn't write like I said I would
... I thought about El Salvador every day in some small way
... I had a newly kindled fire inside of me
... I had a lot of questions.. I still have a lot of questions
... I started exploring the divine feminine, and found a lot of power in her, in me
... I was so acutely aware of language, especially the masculine language that dominated the Church
... I realized there was no such thing as a just war, but that maybe an armed revolution was sometimes the only choice left
... There were no black and white, easy answers
... I knew I could never love America, the country of my birth, again
... I was challenged to live out the radical hospitality and love I received, and I often fail
... I questioned everything people in power told me, especially politicians
... I still get angry
... I still cry when I think about my beloveds in El Salvador
... I still have a fire in my belly

Before El Slavador

My writing class professor asked if I ever write about El Salvador.  And I don't.  So I did.

One week can change your life.  My life was forever changed in one week's time.  And then imagine what the four months did....

Before El Salvador...
Before El Salvador, I had never left the country.
... I had a very limited and one-sided world view.
... I thought one of the most pressing moral and ethical issues of our day was abortion.
... I had never seriously thought about what it means to be a woman in the world.
... I had never seen a woman priest; I never thought women could be priests.
... I had never heard about liberation theology; I had never read The Struggle Is One
... I didn't know how to Be Peace, and see the interconnectedness of all life
... I didn't know if my Spanish was any good, if I could really communicate in another language.
... I had never met Isabel, the bravest woman I know.
... I had never heard first hand accounts of what it's like to fight a war, live through a war, on your own soil, in your own neighborhood.
... I thought I knew what it meant to love.  I was wrong.
... I had never tasted a delicious pupusa
... I never heard of refugee camps from the personal account of a woman who lived in one, gave birth in one.
... I never understood the profound courage of a woman standing up for herself and her family in a machista society where she could have been killed.
... I didn't know how to make tortillas; although my sad attempt today cannot live up to my Salvadoran sisters and mothers
... I had a feeling there was something more out there.  After El Salvador I knew there was.
... I had never stood on sacred ground where others had sacrificed their lives for their beliefs in something good, a better ways of being together and loving one another.
... I had never had to contemplate the profound horror of hundreds of innocent children slaughtered in a single place and a mother listening to the cries and pleas of her own children as it happened.
... I undervalued the power of women when we get together and share our stories
... I didn't know Oti, Lolo, Elizabeth, Karen, Oscar, and so many others...
... I only thought I knew what a broken heart was
... the world made some sense
... I thought I was old for my age
... I thought I knew a lot and was well informed
... I loved buying shoes and had a closet full of them
... I had rarely, if ever, shown my own brokenness, fear, sadness
... I was a different person

My host family in Ellacuria, El Salvador with Isabel, the bravest woman I know (Spring 2006)

Casa Spring 2007

International Human Rights Day

Today is International Human Rights day and the 61st anniversary of the UN Declaration of Human Rights. If you have never actually read the Declaration of Human Rights I would strongly encourage you today to read it: http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/
It also marks the end of the 16 day campaign to end violence against women which started on November 25, International Day to End Violence Against Women. http://www.cwgl.rutgers.edu/16days/home.html
The Good Shepherd sisters, whose charism and work focuses on women and children, participated in the 16 day campaign. They set up a banner and table with information outside of their center/house called Centro Amar downtown. I have really enjoyed getting to know these sisters and participate in some of their work, so I was happy to participate in this campaign which is near and dear to my heart in my work to end violence and oppression against women. On December 1st, I sat outside and handed out pamphlets to those passing by and engaged in conversation with both men and women regarding the reality of violence against women here in Chimbote. December 1st also happend to be World AIDS day in the fight against AIDS, so we also had information about HIV/AIDS which affects many people here in Chimbote as it does throughout Latin America and most underdeveloped countries. Some of the different pamphlets we handed out talked about recognizing violence against women, which in many cases can just be seen as the norm in a machista culture. We also had information on self-esteem, communication (so you don't have to resort to violence) and the negative affects of alcohol and alcoholism which leads many men to act violently against the women in thier lives.

There is still a lot of work to do in the struggle to end violence and to ensure all the human rights outlined in the UN document, and there is no easy answer or single solution. In many ways the systems and structures we live in/under are inherently violent and oppressive and until the larger structure changes the global reality won't change. Meditating on this global reality can be incredibly overwhemling and depressing with the thought, there is so much to do and I am so small. But at the same time I am grateful for the micro-view of the situation and the continual reminder in my work with the good shepherd sisters that one person is worth more than the world (una persona vale mas que un mundo). One person does contain the whole world, and so if it takes changing the world by changing the world of one person at a time then that is the work we are called to do with patience and love.

Today, as we remember the rights inherent in all human beings simply by virtue of being, I invite you all to read and reflect on the rights you currently enjoy, those you are currently denied, and those that many others around the world are currently denied. Everyone has the right to love and be loved, to explore this complicated mystery called life, to question, dream, live and learn. But these take a backseat in the face of a reality where people don't have food, water, adequate shelter, education, or health. All of these are necessary, and it is our collective responsibility as a human family to meet the basic needs/rights of our brothers and sisters so that we can all fully participate in the divine life for which we were/are created.

paz y amor

Construction and Water

Well, since arriving in Chimbote there has been ongoing construction throughout the city, but about two weeks ago that construction came literally to our front door. I guess construction is one of those universal constants in life; wherever you go, there's construction and the inconvenience that arises from it. They are currently working on replacing the plumbing and large pipes that are about 3-4 feet underground. So the road is basically one big exposed hole with huge piles dirt and rocks where there isn't a big hole. There are tools, pipes, wood, trash, etc. all over the place and somedays it feels like an obstacle course to enter and leave the house, but so far no serious problems. Someone told me that the construction workers are mostly just guys from around the neighborhoods who needed work, so we're hoping that the work is done well enough that they don't have to redo everything in a couple months. On the plus side, it's employing local people and providing an income, but its also not the most reliable work crew and there have already been thefts (of construction materials, not from us). There are varying estimates for how long the construction will last, but if it's anything like the rest of Chimbote I would guess it's going to be a while.

One of the consequences of the construction is that as of last Sunday we no longer have water coming into the house. For the first few days there was water coming in through an external pipe system in the street that everyone on our street would share and fill up buckets with to take back to their house. It came around 5am and 5pm. But a couple days ago it either broke or I heard maybe the gage or something was stolen, not really sure. So, there is no longer that resource. Yesterday morning I got up at 6am with Jane and collected water from some neighbors around the corner and down the street. With everyone taking turns filling up bucket, carrying them back to the house, filling up all available containers (which for us aren't actually that many), and repeating this process we spent about an hour filling up 4 buckets of water. We've set up a tentative schedule of collecting water, but we never know for sure if it will come or where it will come from. Today there was a water truck that came by around 10am so we were able to refill our water supply for the day since last night we didn't get any. It's been a really good practice in rationing scarce resources and seeing how much we can do with little water. Although cleanliness is pretty impossible to keep up given our enviornment surrounded by dust and dirt and now little water. We're doing the best we can for now and I think everyone's keeping a really positive attitude. This is part of life here and all of our neighbors are in the same spot, so we share and struggle together. Whenever you don't have something you are so used to, it definitely makes you appreciate it more and understand the struggle of those who daily go without. At least we don't have to walk a mile or more to a local stream or river to collect our daily water. And this probably won't last forever. There are estimates on anywhere from 2-4 weeks before we have running water again. I'm guessing it won't be before the new year. So, I'm grateful for each moment with or without water and what I learn and appreciate from that moment.

Today as you wash your hands, flush the toilet, take a shower, drink from the faucet (which is something we can never do, even when we have running water), run your dishwasher or washing machine, give thanks but also try to conserve your resources, even if for you they seem limitless. For most people there is a very real daily limit.

peace and love

p.s. On a completely different note: we decorated the house for Christmas! It was a lot of fun and puts us all a little more in the spirit of the holidays, which for me has been hard in sunny, dusty, 70 degree weather. Marcelle took pictures and there's a link on her blog to her photo site. She also might have a couple pictures of contstruction too... so you can check those out. I have a link to her blog under websites on the left-hand side of my blog.

The Work of Others

The past week and a half I have been visiting some of the other organizations and groups in Chimbote that work to meet the needs of different populations. Below is a list of these organizations and some of the work they do. It is really inspiring and challenging for me to meet others who are doing such good work in really serving and accompanying many of the people struggling in Chimbote. I have a lot to learn from all of them.

Casa de la Mujer: Unfortunately when I went to visit here they were busy working on a campaign to get women more involved in local and national politics so they weren’t able to talk. But as the name would suggest they do a lot of work with different women’s issues and really try to empower women to take a more active role in government and work on different campaigns like women’s health, HIV/AIDS, and ending violence against women. I am hoping to go back in the next week or so to sit down and talk with them more about the work they do.

Hogar de la Paz: This is a home and center for people who are mentally and physically disabled, ranging from about age 12 or so to probably 90s. The Missionaries of Charity run the home, but rely heavily on volunteers as there are only 4 sisters and just over 70 people who live with them. This was probably one of the most challenging places for me and really demonstrated what love in action looks like, because the sisters and volunteers have to meet all of the daily needs of the people who live here including cooking and feeding, bathing, help with going to the bathroom or changing diapers, and the daily chores around the house. On top of their work with the disabled, they offer a free lunch every day for anyone who wants to come and eat.

Centro de Amar: This center is run by the Good Shepherd Sisters and offers a place of refuge, counseling, and/or companionship for female prostitutes and sex workers. They are open and available as needed and the women are free to come in when they want. The sisters offer counseling, self-esteem workshops, classes and workshops for the children of the women, and whatever else might be of help to the women. Hermana Pilla spoke with us and shared how all of the women have experienced sexual abuse and usually rape during their childhoods and how they continue to be an abused and marginalized population. She also has a great philosophy that comes from being a Good Shepherd sister: If we only helped one woman, it would all be worth it (like the Shepherd who goes after the 1 sheep and leaves the 99). It’s not about how many, it’s about how much love is shared, even with just one person.

CECOPROS: Jane, one of the other IWMs I am living with, works with this organization on media and communication. They have a radio station, publish the diocesan newspaper, and film different informational programs for the TV. Jane is currently working with them on filming some of the small towns outside Chimbote to air on TV to show the realities of the people there. For more information and links to some of their programs, check out Jane’s blog and links. (I have a link to her blog on the side).

Comicion de Justicia Social: The Social Justice Commission is also part of the archdiocese of Chimbote and was the first human rights/ social justice organization connected to the Catholic Church in Peru. They have a lot of great programs including work with prisoners (which I am really hoping to be a part of) and at-risk youth, campaigns to end racism, campaigns to get people more involved in local politics and policy making in order to create better laws, support groups, and workshops on a number of different topics. I recently attended a workshop they had on human rights and discrimination with a specific focus on the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans) community. It had a pretty good turnout and offered a good overview of Human Rights (focusing on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) and then explaining and exploring questions of different sexual orientations and the discrimination and violence that exists against this population. Jane was telling me that this is the first workshop of its kind in Chimbote, which is a sign of hope in working toward the dignity and respect of all people. In such a strong machista culture anyone who varies from the socially defined roles of men and women is at risk for their own personal safety and well-being.

Padre Juanito: Padre Juanito is probably one of the best known priests in Chimbote and after visiting his church and seeing the many programs he offers I can see why. The Church complex is huge including Church, rooms for international volunteers to stay at, a gymnasium/work out room, rooms for preschool and kindergarten, rooms for youth to come and work on homework which include computers and a library with books lining all the walls, the Padre’s house, rooms for family counseling and workshops, and a number of other rooms currently under construction. They have programs for pretty much any population and age group one would be interested in working with. I met Amy, a volunteer from Ireland who has been here two years, who leads a women’s group on Friday afternoons that I am hoping to start attending. The Church is also an incredible sight that my words will not do justice to and unfortunately I did not bring a camera along on the trip. Let’s say the highlight would definitely be the altar, which is an aquarium with fish swimming around. Yep, the altar where communion is celebrated is home to many little fishies and a fishnet draped over the top. Fantastic!

Centro de la Juventud: I think this one of the extended programs of Padre Juanitos, because the guy who was showing us around took us here too, but it might be separate. This is a center for at risk youth, particularly those who have left gangs and are trying to get back on their feet. Each day they teach a different skill like sewing, cosmetology, cooking, carpentry, and one other one I can’t remember. They offer help preparing for the college entrance exam and just provide a safe space that youth can go to hang out away from their gang life.

Well, that’s all the places I’ve visited so far. My main work is with St. Francis parish, but I’m hoping to continue doing pastoral visits with Hospice a few days a week, and then maybe joining the women’s group on Friday afternoons, helping when I can with some of the other sites, and trying to get a program going in the prison. I appreciate all of your prayers and ask you to include all these wonderful organizations and peoples in your prayers as well. There is a lot of good work being done in the name of love and justice and I’m blessed to be a little part of it.

Peace and Love always

Constructive Concern

Preparing to leave for Peru in less than 48 hours now, I am aware of the large community I have supporting me, and I thank each and everyone of you. I am also aware that many are worried or concerned for my safety and well-being. I would like to challenge you to worry or be concerned just as much for all those who daily live the realities I will be experiencing and worse. If you hope that I am welcomed by the community, ask yourself if you are welcoming to strangers and offer hospitality to those who are new or in need. If you worry about me not having enough to eat, think of the thousands who die daily from starvation, they are part of my body as well. If you worry about me being robbed, think of those who not only have money or possessions stolen, but have their houses destroyed and their land taken away. Hundreds if not thousands are robbed daily of their culture, their roots, their home and family. If you worry about me being sick, think of all the preventable diseases which claim the lives of many because we have not learned how to share our resources and knowledge. If you worry about my health and saftey, ask why my health and safety are threatened. What are the structures that create poverty so some must steal from others because they have been stolen from? Or why are there greater health risks in impoverished areas with little to no health care? See if any of your worries or concerns for me can become motivations for social and structural change. Everything is interconnected and we are all part of the same body and the one Spirit. When one part suffers, we all suffer, and when one part rejoices we all rejoice. If you care about me, if you care about yourself, care about Our body and work to protect it. Work to ensure that all parts, all peoples, are treated with dignity and respect, and in that I too will be treated with dignity and respect.